Star Wars Weekly News 12/16-12/23

       Space!!! The final frontier!! Wait, wrong franchise. While you may like Star Trek more, there’s something Star Trek doesn’t have, and that’s shirtless Adam Driver.  Who in my opinion is a goddamn babe.                 

                             

Director/Guy-who-doesn’t-deserve-the-hate-he’s-getting Rian Johnson has this to say about this serious issue.

“Adam looks so damn good because he’d been training hardcore for the past six months for those fight scenes”

     Speaking of looking so damn good, apparently Tom Hardy slapped John Boyega on the badonkadonk, and it’s gonna be on the blu-ray! The only reason I buy those disks anyways is to watch the bonus features; which are rarely good coming from Disney.              Just ‘We all worked very hard.’ and ‘The Lucasfilm Story Team was a great collaborator!’; I don’t want any of that trash. I just need Kathleen Kennedy rubbing her forehead because Phil Lord and Chris Miller weren’t sticking to the script.

       Did I forget to mention last week that Disney might have bought 20th Century Fox to cause a monopoly? You bet I don’t remember! But speaking of Disney and the law, they sued a company that tried to buy the rights to the fake game Sabacc.

      Featured in ‘Empire Strikes Back’, Sabacc is a card game that Han Solo won and got the Millenium Falcon from Lando Calrissian. But! A company called Ren Ventures in 2016 successfully registered a trademark on the name, and created an app called “Sabacc”,  But this May, Disney challenged the trademark  because it would “create customer confusion”. Which definitely means that they’re going to make a Sabacc game to tie-in with Solo: A Stupid Title!

MY PREDICTIONS FOR NEXT WEEK’S NEWS

  • Disney will give back 20th Century Fox, because all they wanted was M.A.S.H.
  • The ‘Solo’ trailer will be released, but they replace Woody Harrelson with Christopher Plummer.
  • And finally, George Lucas will stop lying about his opinions about the new Star Wars movies.

Until next time, this has been LukeTheNerd!

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LukeTheNerd

LukeTheNerd is a kid in Petaluma who enjoys most nerdy stuff. Back to the Future is his favorite movie and he is also very, very handsome.

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